Weekend Questions Answered

Thanks for allowing me a weekend off, loyal readers. Blogging is hard work, but it's a passion of mine. I'm dedicated to making this the best blog about stupid South Carolina fans in the world. Thanks for submitting your questions. Here are the answers

1. Hello. Can you please give me a rundown on the Wofford Terriers season and your predictions for the rest of the SoCon? Thank you. - john cocktosten
I think the Terriers are probably the 3rd best team in the state, behind Clemson and Furman. Unfortunately, when dealing with the SoCon, it's pretty much App St or bust.

2. Hey man-Whats yer favorite no doubt song?
How about the Human League?
Who is better: Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose or Hamilton Joe Franklin?
In 1984, in a street fight, who would win between Ralph Macchio and William Zabka?
Also, do you think that Macchio and Zabka were friends in real life?
1980 Bulldogs or 81 Tigers?
Sparky Woods or Brad Scott?
In the movie Highlander, what do you envision as the "Prize?"
I have heard that the 80's band "Europe" once got some kid so pumped that he ran through a glass door. Is there any validity to this story-or is it just another urban legend?Thanks and Goodnight. - cock. cock. cock. cock!

No Doubt - Hollaback Girl
Human League - Don't You Want Me Baby
On your next question, I need clarification. Did you mean Hamilton, Joe, Frank, and Reynolds?
Bill Zabka, and they are real life friends. Best friends.
1980 Bulldogs
I've never seen Highlander.
The story about the boy is true. He's me.

3. Why are you such a piece of $h@t? - cockadoodlejew
I'm not. You probably just feel that way b/c you're a gamecock fan and you have trouble dealing with reality.

4. Why the hell are there so many Clemson fans living in Virginia, and why are they all a pack of retards who no nothing about football? - anonymous
I'm not sure of the answer to your first question. But most Clemson fans I KNOW, KNOW plenty about football. In fact, they KNOW so much, if they KNEW anymore, they'd KNOW more than it was even possible to KNOW, ya KNOW.

5. If the moon was made of cheese would you eat it?
What about pork ribs?
What is your opinion on the broke back comments Bowden made on Kyle Parker in his baseball uniform?
Why is Tommy gay?
Why does he choose to pick his nose during gametime when the camera is on his ugly mug?
Why does he say some of the dumbest things imaginable? - anonymous

No on your first moon question. Yes to your second moon question.
Coach Bowden's comments about Kyle Parker were a little bit strange, although I'm sure they were completely innocuous. My guess is that someone asked him a question he didn't really feel like answering, so he said something that drew attention away from the fact that he wasn't answering the question. It's a fairly common practice in the coaching world. I don't think Coach Bowden is gay. Everyone picks their nose, he just happens to have a camera on him every Saturday for a few hours. If any one of us were in the same situation, we'd probably get caught digging. Coach Bowden does say some things that really make me scratch my head, but gamecock fans, as evidenced by the blog, have set the dumb bar pretty low. Taking that into account, I've never heard Coach Bowden say anything dumb.

6. What is your opinion on the economy struggle of Thailand and how can they fix the damn surplus mangament of the big corporations over there?
Why does McDonald's suck so bad?
Did the Taco Bell dog succumb to AIDS? - anonymous

Like all the world's problems, Thailand's economic swoon is George W. Bush's fault. Their dependency on the strength of the American dollar has been tenuous, at best, for quite a while now. The talking heads keep telling us that we aren't in a recession, but tell that to Thai Joe Sixpack. Unless they can find a relatively quick, cost effective solution to weather our storm, they may see their worst downturn since 2002. It isn't all bad news though. As you know, Thalaind is the second largest economy in Southeast Asia. Ironically, those who claimed ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra's populist policies were fiscally irresponsible are now reaping what they sowed. In the interest of brevity, I won't go into detail on which specific policies might be the most beneficial to the Thai economy. If you're interested in learning more, I would suggest reading a brilliant article in last month's The Economist.

McDonald's has gone the way of Hardee's in the last few years. It's only good for breakfast now. My theory is that we're older and we realize the food is just processed crap. Except for the McRib. I'll always return for the McRib.

I don't know what became of the Taco Bell dog. I did have a taco a few weeks ago that tasted funny and made me very sick. I'll let you bring that thought to a logical conclusion.

7. Wow. Judging by all questions shot at you, I'll have to say that your blog is doing quite well and is very successful. And by all that I mean it's a complete joke and nobody is taking this thing seriously.Good efforts, but one thing you fail to realize is after a few blog entries people lose interest. Now all you have is a bunch of random people typing random crap and asking you funny questions that have NOTHING to do with anything. Sorry, it's a joke now and hardly anyone pays attention to it. Thanks for playing.Maybe a Gamecock fan can make Mind of a Clemson fan.Safe to say there'd be a lot more quotes because Clemson fans say a hell of a lot more stupid shit than USC fans, believe it or not. I would know, I love with too damn many of them. You act as though you're shocked at the number of dumb quotes on FGF. You haven't heard anything yet. - anonymous

This isn't really a question, but I wanted to address it anyway. Judging by the number of hits my blog has gotten since Friday, I'd say your assertion is indeed MOAGish. I think that you'll find this blog is about to take off and become wildly successful. I'm sorry to hear that you love with so many Clemson fans, whatever that means. I never acted as if I was shocked at the number of dumb quotes by Carolina fans. I acted as if the wealth of dumb quotes was too good to not share with the world. Once the season starts up, the football analysis will pick up, and it'll make you really mad how right I am about everything. Please continue reading, for your own good.

8. I was just wondering what it would actually take in order for the cocks to get their heads out of each other's asses. Do they not know that they are the laughing stock of college football? Spurrier will not be able to win there. Once he leaves, their program will be undone (not that it's in the best shape now). I hope your dog gets better. - anonymous

To answer your first question, anonymous, it would take an act of God the likes of which this world has never seen, at least since Creation. They do not know they are the laughing stock of college football. They likely never will.

Thanks for the well wishes for my dog. She is doing much better. She had stepped on a piece of sharp metal, and it had gotten lodged in the padding of her front, right paw.



Folks, that's it on this week's Q&A. Thanks for all of the questions. I had to delete a few of them. I'm sorry for that. I try not to delete anything, but a few of them just weren't meant for public viewing. To make up for it, here are some really dumb things said by gamecock fans, coming up in just a few minutes.

On Clemson:

- Clemson does not matter. Why do Carolina fans just not get that?!

- Beating a A-SHE-SHE team gets us no credit at all!!!! Who cares about those rednecks??? The entire nation takes note when we defeat one of our fellow SEC teams. A win over an SEC brother will give us more respect than a win over a bad cow team.Leave the A-SHE-SHE teams for people like KKKLIMPSON and DOOK to beat!!!GO COCKS!GO SEC!

On if UGA tried celebrating on their field like they did against Florida last year:

- can't celebrate if you don't score

- They hate us. They hate us in a big, big way (they even fear this game).

- I EXPECT us to beat uga too. Anything less is a big, big disappointment to me. A loss for us at the WB this year would be inexplicable and that's going to be a moot point soon enough because we all know the COCKS! are a much, much better team this year than the same team that won in Assens last year. COCKS! by 10 in the WB.

On Urban Meyer's lofty opinion of Tim Tebow:

- Meyer will be eating those words when Hawaii whips them just like June Jones
said

On The State newspaper being "against them:"

- it is pathetic that a large news organization works against its cutomers the way the columbia print media does.

On staying classy:

- Proof that God hates Clemson.

- He's a whiner and a showboater on the diamond, but wouldn't wish that on even a CowTech person.

*these posts are in response to Clemson's baseball coach Jack Legget's house tragically burning down this weekend

On how badly they'll need to beat NC State to be satisfied:

- We need to win by 24 and score a minimum of 35.

- Beatsem by at least 24.Anything less will mean we're gonna suck.

- 1. Win by 17+ (35-14, 31-14, 28-10, 28-7, etc.)2. No turnovers3. Davis goes over 100 yards4. Defense gives up 14 points or less5. No blocked kicks6. Good return yards7. Hold NCSU to minimal return yards8. Defense creates/recovers at least 2 turnovers.

- 24-10 or better. Any score closer than that would be a disappointment IMO. NCSU is supposed to be a rebuilding ACC team this year, we should dominate them.

- 35-10 USC

- I expect a 35 to 7 or 35 to 6 performance from the Cocks. A lesser performance on either side of the ball will be dissapointing for me.

- A route...'bout time we start punishing the teams we can.

- a comfortable win that is never in doubt. 27-3 first half and final score of 41-10

- I want to see an SEC caliber team play to their potential over a very weak ACC team. We must dominate. The game should never be in question and by late 3rd quarter we're playing our 2 and 3-deep backups.If we win by one point over one of the worst teams in the ACC, I'll be very disappointed. How disappointed? Remember our "victory" over UNC last year? That kind of disappointed.41-10

A classic:

- This is the year we turn the corner, on paper it all adds up.

Some division predictions for '08:

- 1. UF 2. SC 3. UGA 4. UT 5. Vandy 6. UK

- SEC East will be decided by the Gamecock-Gator game

- 1. USC/UF winner (Best defence wins) 2. UF 3. UGA (Schedule is too hard, like USC last year) 4. UcheaT ( No Cutcliffe, No QB, NO Shot!) 5. UK (Back to normal) 6. VU (Ditto)

- 1. Florida 2. USC 3. UGA 4. TN 5. KY 6. VAN

- 1. Florida 2. South Carolina 3. Georgia 4. Tennessee 5. Kentucky 6. Vanderbilt

- 1. South Carolina (Only if QB comes through.)2. Florida (Lot of talent on offense, but secondary is suspect)3. Georgia (Schedule is too tough)4. Tennessee (New QB and new Coordinator)5. Vanderbilt (It's Vandy)6 Kentucky (Loss too much)


That's all for today folks. Tune in tomorrow when I break down the ACC Coastal Division....