Thursday, September 11, 2008
Breaking News!
Earlier today, a brawl broke out between Gamecock football players and unknown "non-athletes." Campus police, those previously intimidated by BOT member Eddie Floyd, are investigating as we speak. It is not known who started the brawl, who was involved, or over what it specifically occured. But, I think it's pretty safe to assume that at least one football player impregnated the sister of another football player and then tried to trade the baby on the black market. For crack. More to come..............................................................................................................................More news coming across my desk. This hasn't been confirmed, but the fight was definitely gang-related. I'm not talking about some No Homers Club either. I'm talkin about real street gangs. Bloods and Crips shit. This leads me to the obvious conclusion that most, if not all, south carolina football players are heavily involved in gang activity. Stay tuned........
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10 comments:
At least no women were hit. It'd take forever to gather all the facts. At least the football players would still get to stay on the team.
Oh, and just to let you know...Some flunkies from Benedict College...yes, Benedict College, came to the USC campus, walked into the Russell house, came to the table where a few of the players were sitting, slammed one right in the side of the head, and a brawl ensued. Benedict players were embarrassed like Clemson was on the football field against Bammer, Benedict players were arrested, and USC players free to go. Your story is more refreshing though, but at least no women were beat, right?
Congrats, USC is 1-0 against Benedict College.
Thanks, Brett, for reporting that. Please post any info you get.
Were any women harmed in the brawl? Don't let the news get out to Clemson. McSlapabitch won't be too happy that women were not harmed. That doesn't fly with him.
Garret Anderson, gamecock starting center, on their "rivalry" with UGA:
"It’s a border rivalry, almost like Carolina-Clemson."
Brilliant.
Nice job, Anderson!
In other news Jon Bostic calls Clemsux Tigers "a group of softies."
Does it really take a damn All-American offensive lineman to figure that out?
Brilliant.
No problem, I think most people figured that out about 2 minutes into the game against Bama. I don't understand why you think Bostic was the one who figured that out, b/c like I said, we had all already figured that out.
The Tar Heels looked better last night than either Clemson or South Carolina has all season. Diabeetus.
Well when everyone in Clemson read about the article they thought it was some huge breaking story and ran to the radio stations about it. If I hear one more Clemson caller talk about it on the radio I'm gonna pull a McDaniel and just throw a bitch down some stairs. I mean, there isn't much to be said.
"Clemson's lines are terrible."
"Yep."
The end.
I'm not sold on UNC's win. Rutgers shouldn't have been beat that bad at home, but they're still pretty terrible. And this is the same UNC that barely beat who...McNeese State? Something like that. I'm not sold on the win, but they did look impressive. Not a surprise though.
Now East Carolina. OOOOH, SHIT. Now there's a football team. They're this season's Boise State.
State is dumb.
Which state, Mr.Beetis?
Speaking of beetis, I think the reason for Owner's hiatus is that his girlfriend has abstracted the beetis somehow. Or AIDS. Or his family/friends were in a terrible car wreck and were horribly mangled.
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