Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Bag Man Speaketh

“Clemson’s got that high-powered offense, and do you know how many touchdowns they scored against us? Just one. I rest my case. The bottom line is scoring points.”

27 words. 27 idiotic words that epitomize the culture and mindset of gamecock fans everywhere. So said south carolina's DL coach, and notorious bagman, Brad Lawing, in an interview with The State newspaper yesterday(http://www.thestate.com/gogamecocks/story/497166.html). Call me crazy, but where I come from, Greenville, the bottom line is wins and losses. Oh, I'm used to hearing from cock lovers about the meaningless moral victories the gamecocks have amassed over the past 100+ years. Heck, how many teams overcome 5 sacks, three int's, poor routes, bad blocking, poor field position three fumbles and only lose by 11 to a team that took UGA to the last second, right? But it appears the cold, dead hand of MOAG is starting to creep up the coaching staff's shoulders now too.

A few weeks ago I blawwged about how Spurrier had fallen under its spell. Now we're starting to see that trickle down effect I predicted for the rest of the coaching staff. At no point in the interview did Lawing, well-known for his cheating ways, mention the 214 yards rushing his line surrendered in that game. I guess he was proud of that number considering his boys had given up more than double that total to Arkansas a couple of weeks prior. But more importantly, at no point in the interview did Lawing, known more for his cheating than his coaching ability, mention the outcome of that game. Obviously, I don't have to tell you, my loyal readers, what the outcome was. After all, it was a Clemson/south carolina game.

Now, readers, this one, short-sighted observation probably wouldn't mean a hillabeans taken on its own. But it can't be marginalized the way gamecock fans want it to be. It is part of a larger, more troubling, pattern of sissybaby failure with no end in sight. You can't pick up a newspaper in South Carolina these days without seeing one of their loser coaches complaining about Clemson this, or Clemson that. They're pointing out our arrest record to recruits! They're planting moles inside our police department to target our athletes!! They're beating us on purpose!!!

It's just getting sad(or funny), and it is starting to bear striking resemblance to the beginning of the end of the Holtz era. Don't be surprised if the on-field performance begins to follow suit as well. But I'm getting ahead of myself. For now, the focus is on Brad Lawing, a man known more for his blatant cheating than his ability to coach football players.

So, Brad, I think you need to realize that you're asking the wrong question. It doesn't matter how many touchdowns Clemson's offense scored against y'all. Granted, it was just one, but Clemson......just won. I rest my case.


On team improvement:

- This team is making incremental improvements virtually across the board. I doubt there are many teams in the SEC (or the nation) that you can say that about.

On Clemson:

- Everyone connected with Clemson football is a compulsive liar.

On the '07 Gamecocks:

- The Defense was designed to stop the Pass not the Run. The teams that ran the ball well CRUSHED US. The passing teams did not do as well against our D.

- our D was structured to protect the DBs

On the '08 Gamecocks:

- I dont know how anyone cant see this team is a 9+ winning team.

- If the offense just treads water we will win 8 or more.

- QB situation is best its been since Phil Petty.

- In my opinion it doesn't matter who's playing QB, if they play smart/mistake free football we will win 8 or 9.

- This is a much better and deeper team than last years.

- we'd win 6 w/ lanning[the punter] playing qb.

- this will be far and away the best defense we've seen in Spurrier's tenure.

- I say 9-10 wins is easily doable and 11 if with some breaks + a bowl game.

- 9-3 is reasonable.

On the future:

- next year will kick off a great streak of success.

- WE WILL NEVER HAVE QB PROBLEMS AGAIN UNDER SPURRIER!!

On NC State:

- 8 days from now after we throttle NC State all the talk will be about how horrible NC State is and that Newberry could beat them by 2-3 scores. Remember my post because this will happen.

On their OL coach:

- IF Georgia finishes this season any better than 8-4, and we are no better than the same, we need to start looking for a new O-Line coach.

On team spirit:

- Can we please get together on this and get some TV air time (Sportscenter)for one of our better defenders? When Captain makes a big play as he does at least once or twice a game. Lets have everyone turn North and put a leg up on the bench above, raise your arm and keep your chin up like the Captian Morgan commercial. Lets even give an a good old pirate "Arrrrgh" or "Aye Captain" cheer. Let's show some inituitve and spirit and run with this!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was an omega cool blog, but can we talk about something fans actually come here and will give two shits about? Like how many pounds of ribs I can eat in a sitting?

Anonymous said...

White guys are still playing on the Tennesee defense and you're worried about what Coach Lawning is saying about Clemsux?

Get your shit straight, Clemson fan.

Anonymous said...

Clemson is the winner of the pre-season. They'll be everyone's hero until they get a dose of reality and they actually have to live up to standards. What will your blog be about when you get embarassed by Alabama? It's gonna be fun not having an o-line and linebackers.

Oh, and I'm curious. I knew Lawing in his younger coaching days. I haven't followed him much since he left my old school, but what is this about him "cheating"? I'd pay more attention to your own precious coaching squad for now, seeing how they're up again Saban in a week. Except Bowden.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love the anderson independent mail. I love how we get it down here in the lower state.
You would think that they would know our schedule better than this there in Tiger town:

"The Gamecocks and Tigers are not scheduled to meet this year unless they both reach the SEC Championship."

Man, the upstate, including Clemsux, is one joke of an area. Seriously, does this guy have an editor?

"The AP preseason top 25 poll came out so as I looked at it I noticed that the Gamecocks are going to have there hand full." See? Now the Gamecocks only have ONE hand AND...there hand? What? Epic failure.

Anonymous said...

haha! consider yourselves served, Carolina fanz.

Anonymous said...

I don't see how that has any connection to JUST Carolina fans, but good try, ace.

No shit. It's the Anderson Independent. As in it's independent from grammar. They're all Clemsux grads. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

" Can we please get together on this and get some TV air time (Sportscenter)for one of our better defenders? When Captain makes a big play as he does at least once or twice a game. Lets have everyone turn North and put a leg up on the bench above, raise your arm and keep your chin up like the Captian Morgan commercial. Lets even give an a good old pirate "Arrrrgh" or "Aye Captain" cheer. Let's show some inituitve and spirit and run with this!"

that is so gay.

Anonymous said...

Dude-
Where'd you find that Captain Morgan shit?
That can't be real.
The fact that someone would get that idea-and think that the rest of the Gamecock fans should go along with it...Wow.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that is pretty funny. I love when the crowd cheers something in unison, but the Captain Munnerlyn thing is just sad. It's funny, because I'm pretty sure he's the ONLY one who would sit there and do it. Others just think he's an idiot.

Captain Morgan is our best friend.

Oh, and Owner. You need to work on your delivery a bit. Witty catchphrases tend to zing best, when not followed up by an explaination, as if nobody could have figured it out.

Anonymous said...

"- QB situation is best its been since Phil Petty."

MOAG-
What the fuck is so funny about Phil Petty? Like Charlie Gayhurst ever did anything against the Cocks. Good luck with Cullen Farter this year, Jasper's gonna rip him and the rest of CLEMSCUM a new one! Spur 'em!

Anonymous said...

Here's what "Gayhurst" did in one game vs. SC: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9YKUAfl1Wc

Anonymous said...

The Phil Petty thing is kind of funny. Not laugh out loud-but sort of chuckle to yourself.

Anonymous said...

It'd be best if we saw Beecher play in live-fire before we label Carolina as having "Phil Petty." Bold statement, but he has all the intangibles. We'll see soon enough.

Dude. Just go find any video you can on Virginia Tech vs. Clemson. Or Clemson against pretty much any decent competition. It's embarassing to watch, but yet....so fun at the same time. I never knew Clemson fans cried so damn much. Ya'll should fill Lake Hartwell back up to the top the way you bitch and moan after you lose. All these years of mediocrity and Clemson fans still can't get dancing images of actually being good at of their head. You're a joke. Get over it.

Oh, and just ignore the Lawning cheat statement. It's just another weak Clemson spin. Just like how they spin the Mcslapabitch situation after 3 months and not a thing has been done to him. Brokeback Bowden will suspend him for the first half of the first game an hour before kick off an Clemson fans will rejoice, laugh, and say "We told you so!" while dancing to their shitty tiger rag song.

Now please excuse me while I tackle 50 pounds of ribs at my local Longhorns.

Anonymous said...

"Here's what "Gayhurst" did in one game vs. SC: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9YKUAfl1Wc"

Laugh all you want anonymous, but if we would have had Spurrier when Petty was around we'd have a Sugar Bowl under our belts. What's so funny is that you might get one this year with that joke of a schedule. If we played you earlier in the year we'd whoop you on a regular basis and that's what taters are so scared of. I like my chances with Spurrier though. 2008 is when the rivalry turns in our favor. Spur 'em bitch.

Anonymous said...

Dude, nobody is arguing that Petty wasn't a great QB. Only problem was he was running for his life a lot. That's what made him so good. Even behind a terrible o-line he was smart with the ball and never made those dumb mistakes QBs make when they're under pressure. It wasn't until 2000-2001 where Carolina could have really made some noise with him, which they did. BCS Bowl or not, Petty was a good QB for them.

Anonymous said...

"Laugh all you want anonymous, but if we would have had Spurrier when Petty was around we'd have a Sugar Bowl under our belts."

There's nothing better than in thread MOAG proof

Anonymous said...

James. Seriously, stfu. We all know Clemson fans are an embarassment, but you aren't helping your case at all.

Damn, I'm glad it's Friday. See you speds later.

Anonymous said...

Tommy can't wait to see Parker's ass in those tight football pants this coming football season. Come on, BAMMER!

Oh, and it's 29 words- not 27. But you're Clemson fan, so I understand.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Nice blog comments.

In all seriousness, whoever controls the line of scrimmage is going to win this game. Alabama is playing a lot of young players with a lot of talent, and Clemson just has solid talent everywhere. Linebacker and O-Line worry me, especially with a solid running game and D-line Bama has. It'll begin and end with the LoS. No prediction from me though.